Seesaw
by Agent Spielplatz
Summary: Don't read this. I'm just trying to annoy my readers by posting a new story.


**Agent's Spiel:** Just an odd little plot bunny I had for a crossover a couple of years ago. At the moment, I'm just posting it to annoy anyone who has me on their author's alerts and will be tickled by me posting another story I won't really work on. And I might not work on this in the future (I'm retiring to become a knitting hermit) which is why I'm not even going to say what it's a crossover with. For more information see the blog post "Seesaw: Chapter 1" in April's archives.

Also this is set after Naruto's fight with Sasuke (basically before the whole time skip and the anime's filler episodes). Pretty much right as Naruto and Jiraiya are leaving the village – maybe a week after they've left for training. I take an incredibly lax stance on 'canon', meaning that I mess with it as much as I want, apparently I wasn't clear enough about this for my other fics so I'll just state it now.

Lastly, I don't own Naruto.

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**Seesaw: Prologue**

Tsunade glared at the paperwork in front of her. It was the last thing she needed. But Jiraiya was right. For once.

Not that it was fair. She really didn't need the guilt if they were right. But she hated screwing up and when she did, she made a point of fixing her mistakes, not ignoring them. So now, according to the paperwork in front of her she had to find a team to take the next Chuunin Exam in Hidden Grass – she couldn't believe they would allow her in after the death of their Genin team in Hidden Leaf, but she wasn't going to turn it down. She had to meet with him soon so they could get this over with.

"Shizune!"

Five minutes later, Tsunade was angrily tapping her fingers waiting for her apprentice to show up. She was certain she had shouted loud enough that if the woman was anywhere in the tower she would have heard her. And she hadn't been in the tower then certainly one of her other assistants would have run out for her. She really didn't want to have to shout again – the throat strain wasn't worth it.

"Tsunade-sama I've told you five times already, I'm not giving you sake when you need to meet with the council," Shizune sighed as she opened the door. She paused and straightened when she saw the dark look on Tsunade's face. "You didn't want sake, did you?"

"No. I need you to find a Genin team who can take the Chuunin exam in Hidden Grass."

"What kind of team?" Shizune asked in confusion. "Shouldn't you just address the Jounin?"

"No…I, crap it's going to have to be Sakura. Find her two teammates," Tsunade muttered as she sank further into her chair. "I had wanted to let her wait until her training was further. It would have been more impressive to have her and Naruto take it together, but I don't think Jiraiya will want him to take it right now."

"Are you certain? She's only just started training with us," Shizune pointed out.

"I'm certain. Now what was this about a meeting with the council?"

"You forgot already?" Shizune deadpanned as Tsunade watched her in confusion.

"Forgot what?"

"The Daimyo are going to be arriving over the next few days to meet you. You're supposed to meet with the Council tonight – Clan heads and Elders. Danzo will be there as well as head of ANBU. You cannot go to this meeting even a little bit drunk," Shizune insisted.

Tsunade scowled and nodded. "Just get to work on finding those two Genin. I don't care who they are. They need to be good enough to get through the exam. If you can't find a partial team, find a team who has one member not prepared. I'll send that person through with Naruto to make it up to them in a year or two."

"I'll see what I can find. And since you forgot about the meeting, I'm assuming you haven't looked over the briefings for it. They're the gold scrolls you dumped on the floor behind your desk," Shizune pointed out.

Tsunade turned slowly to look at the ornate scrolls Shizune had pointed out. "Oh those. They were too tacky to look at for long," she admitted.

"Just read through them once before this evening. The meeting starts at seven; don't be late," Shizune sighed as she walked out of the room again.

"Seven…four hours…I can do this," Tsunade nodded as she gingerly reached down to pick up the…elaborate scrolls. "Can't these people put a little less effort into showing me how wealthy they are? I already know that," she muttered in disgust as she opened the first one.

"Why the hell does he need to bring eighty people!"

**XXXX**

"I take it you read the briefings?"

Tsunade turned to glare at Homura's poorly hidden smile. Why were old people always so cheery? "He has less than two thousand subjects. He doesn't need to bring eighty people to the village. We're still rebuilding hotels," she muttered angrily.

"We're arranging camps to be set up on some of the training fields. Notices are being placed up tomorrow so that all of our ninja know not to use the ones in those areas," Koharu said – she was clearly just as amused when Tsunade turned towards her with the same glare.

"When were you planning on telling me this?"

"Tonight, at the same time that we told everyone else. Just as we are planning to tell everyone that Lady Aina has already arrived – with only ten servants luckily. She also has a message for us from the Kagemusha," Koharu paused politely as Tsunade snorted in laughter.

"Sorry, sorry, hurry up and tell me so I don't laugh in front of the Clan heads," Tsunade gasped out.

"No. I'm sorry, but I will only say this once," Koharu admitted.

"Fine let the others in. Let's get this over with."

Homura nodded and walked over to open the door, allowing the assembled Clan heads to enter. Once they were seated, he beckoned to two others in the hall. "Danzo, Sora," Tsunade greeted politely.

With the final two members also seated, Koharu stood up and spoke, "As I was telling the Hokage. We have already made arrangements for the visiting Daimyo and their parties. A list of closed training fields will be posted tomorrow morning so please spread the word among your shinobi. The meeting with them will take place at the end of the week; any inquiries for private meeting should as always be noted and then reported to the Hokage. We expect the majority of those will come from the Iemitsu, Rikyu, and Hamako families. They were all notoriously combative with both the First and the Second and we expect that they will carry over the family animosity. Any questions so far?"

When no one spoke up Homura sighed and glanced at Tsunade. "Along with the early arrival of Lady Aina came a message from the Kagemusha. He has over the past several months collected a treaty signed by nearly two hundred of the Daimyo of our Continent. The attack against Hidden Leaf is making them nervous and they have banded together in an attempt to thwart a war before the situation escalates."

"And why do they think a number of signatures are going to do that?" Tsunade glanced down the table at the Nara clan head – she would have preferred dealing with his son Shikaku, but at least the elder was just as lazy. His disinterest was clearly mimicked by the Yamanaka and Akimichi heads.

"He wants the jinchuriki."

Tsunade blinked at the sudden change in Homura's voice and let out shaky breath. "Repeat that for me," she asked shallowly. Drawing wary glances from the others at the table – several actually moved their seats back a few inches apparently fearing that her temper would lead to a damaged table.

Koharu's mouth thinned into a tight line as she watched Tsunade closely. "He knows of a jinchuriki in Hidden Sand being involved in the invasion. Hidden Cloud was not subtle when they created their own. But he doesn't know for certain of any others. He wants to know their locations. He claims it is a precaution. If all the Daimyo know the locations of the jinchuriki, they will 'advise' their villages against war. And it is assumed that our alliances will further prevent any outbreaks."

"It won't work. And realistically, he could be working with the Akatsuki. Or planning his own war," Hyuuga Hiashi spoke up.

"Of course it won't work," Tsunade sighed, frowning in concentration.

"Be that as it may be. Our most solid allies turned on us just four months ago leading to the death of the Third Hokage. We have an untested new leader and seemingly no allies. Revealing our own may be the only way to ward off attacks," Danzo stated glaring at Hiashi.

His statement was met by a number of vicious retorts – and a few hums of agreement. Tsunade remained silent and white knuckled as she listened the Clan heads argue for several minutes before she slid her chair back a few feet, standing swiftly and raising her fist above her head. She swiftly brought it down against the heavy table, splitting it in two.

The room silenced quickly as Tsunade politely returned to her seated position, ignoring the lack of a conference table. Slowly but surely the other Clan heads also returned to their seats and waited for her to speak.

Danzo hadn't gotten the message. "Hokage-sama, in spite of your _fondness_ for the boy, do not forget what his purpose is," he stated.

"His purpose, Danzo, is to be a shinobi of this village. Something Naruto will not be able to do if he is publicly known as a jinchuriki. He will become little more than a trophy. Any step he takes outside of this village will broadcast, immediately making him a danger to himself and his teammates due to the Akatsuki. I am not wasting someone with such potential on a political gambit," Tsunade said.

"So we cover it up, it can't be hard," Inuzuka Tsume offered, smirking in Danzo's direction.

"No, but it will take cooperation," Homura smiled kindly. "I believe this may be your first test," he whispered quietly in Tsunade's direction as he finally took a seat next to her.

"How do you expect to hide the boy when Orochimaru already knows his identity?" the Shiranui head asked dismissively.

"Anything Orochimaru suggests can be dismissed as the whining of a sore loser. He has already shown that he wants our village destroyed. To suggest that we are hiding a jinchuriki would certainly be a good way to push others into attacking us, which is why no one would believe him," Tsunade replied.

"Even if we claim that the Fourth killed the Kitsune instead of sealing it…there _is_ evidence otherwise."

"Such as?"

"Lack of body."

"So we destroyed the body, bones and all to ensure that any regenerative powers that the demon had would be useless. Any parts that could not be burned were sealed away as is. And all ashes from the cremation were sealed as well. We may have a few break in attempting to steal the parts, but since they don't exist, we don't have to worry about that," Tsunade smiled as Danzo's smirk wilted a bit. The smile widened when others perked up in interest.

"What of the boy himself?" Hiashi asked.

Tsunade frowned at him – he hadn't been one of the ones to agree with Danzo's suggestion. "What of _Naruto_?"

Hiashi frowned at her confusion. "The name. He was given Kushina's name."

"So we change the name. Change his birth records to make him a bit younger or older, who would notice? That teacher? He'll shut up if someone tells him Naruto is in danger," Tsume spoke up.

"Wouldn't his classmates and teammates notice?"

"No. You may wish otherwise but they wouldn't. The name is simple enough to explain, have Jiraiya rename him he's old enough for it even if he isn't Chuunin yet," Tsume answered, shrugging at Koharu. "And really, no one knew about Kushina, the early name is easy enough to explain away as a coincidence or pun created by guardian."

Danzo opened his mouth to argue but Tsunade shot him a glare. "It will work. The Daimyo do not already know of his existence and we can keep it that way. The Third's Proclamation is _still_ in effect, we will enforce it. Is that understood?" she asked. When she received no argument, she nodded and turned to Homura and Koharu. "Anything else?"

"None of the other Daimyo have raised any pertinent questions just yet. We will have to wait until they arrive before any more business may be discussed," Homura told the assembly.

"Good. We need to keep these meeting relatively short though. There's a Chuunin exam in Hidden Grass in five weeks. I need to be there," Tsunade said, as dispassionately as possible.

"Why on earth would attend a Chuunin exam in Hidden Grass?" Shiranui Mayu asked distastefully.

"It's the soonest public spectacle. As was pointed out, we are dangerously low on allies. I don't expect to find any there, but a public appearance…especially one which takes me _out_ of the village will present a more powerful and secure picture. A wounded village would not take the time for such trivial matters," Tsunade shrugged.

"Yes, but appearing in Hidden Grass will clearly show desperation," Hiashi said.

"No it won't. We'll discuss it once the plans are cemented, for now just work on keeping the Daimyo on the move. I want them in and out in as quickly as possible. Is that clear?"

A round of 'yes's' circled the room as the clan heads stood, bowing politely before exiting the room, leaving behind only the Hokage and a woman named Sora. "I assume you want full ANBU details working the training ground encampments?"

"Yes, at least four teams at all times. But they need to be invisible presences. We don't expect trouble and we aren't going to act as if we do. Doable?"

"Of course. Hokage-sama…about the Uzumaki boy-"

"Don't call him that. I don't want him referred to as Uzumaki in front of the native Daimyo."

"That's the problem Hokage-sama. He _did_ participate in our Chuunin exam. And he beat Hyuuga while he was at it. The Kazekage was already dead, but he did have shinobi present who must be suspicious about Naruto's win over Gaara of the Sand during the invasion. And his appearance is not…he will stand out. Whether for the facial markings, the eyes, the hair, all of it. It's only going to become more remarkable as he ages."

"How many others suspect?" Tsunade asked quietly.

"I think the easier question to answer would be who doesn't."

"Then we'll just have to put their suspicions to rest. Leave Naruto to me. By the time he next compete in public, he will not be the boy they saw beat Hyuuga Neji. He'll hate us for it, but it's doable."

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**Agent's Spiel:** If you follow the homepage link in my bio, it'll take you to the blog. Go there for notes. The following note will be repeated there as well: I'm really mean to Naruto as a fan fiction writer. He's the title character, so changing _him_ is the easiest way to change the story. Besides, Kishimoto does a damn fine job with the Naruto he's created; I can't compete with it so I have fun changing it instead. Don't bother complaining to me about it.

That's all! I'm off to my cabin to knit.


End file.
